The Final Days at the Shopper

Yesterday, the Shopper threw me a surprise wedding shower/going-away party.  While I pretty much knew it was coming, as it would have surprised me more had they not acknowledged my departure at all, the thought and planning that went into the event surprised me.

I helped Ingrid in her office with guidelines at 10 minutes to four while everyone gathered in the conference room.  Sharon called Ingrid to tell her they needed me at the front desk.  I arrived, and Sharon put a red hat with a veil on it on my head and opened the door to the conference room.  Everyone in the office had worn pink in my honor, as they threw me a tea party.  I hadn’t caught on to the pink thing all day, which made me question the keen perception with which I always assumed I operated.

We sat down, eating petite fours, cucumber sandwiches, and miscellaneous other vegan baked goods (thanks Heather!) and drank tea in nice china teacups and raspberry wine spritzers.  We played a quiz game about me, and Heather outed me to the entire office as to the sketchy online origins of me and Red’s relationship, an embarrassment I do not wish to relive here by mentioning the website by name.  Those who are in the know can feel special with their secret knowledge.  Those who aren’t, well, tough shit, because I’m not telling you.

I got $300 worth of Travelocity hotel gift cards, which Red and I plan to spend perhaps on a brief hotel getaway in Scotland after the wedding.  Some of you probably already know that I can’t go on a honeymoon immediately after the wedding, as I won’t have the right kind of visa and therefore cannot leave the UK.  We want to go to Edinburgh, and, while Scotland is undoubtedly cold in December, the whole of the United Kingdom is cold in December. . . what are a few less degrees?  This plan could change, obviously, as Edinburgh is quite far from London, and the travel costs might not justify the excursion for two nights.

Today is my last day at work, and I’m working on easy stuff, cleaning out my desk, and bequeathing my work possessions to others.  Heather got my document holder.  Lynn got my boom box.  The office as a whole got my Penguin Reference Collection.  I hope they use it to learn all about the passive voice in the _Plain English_ volume.

I have tried contacting Dad and Lois’s mechanic to get an update on my car; however, no one answered the phone.  I left a message, and I haven’t heard back.  I can only assume that they have scrapped my car and sold its parts as scrap.

Or something.

Okay, so I know that’s not true, but I don’t have particularly high hopes that I will get the car back in enough time to sell it.  I called Mom to see if she would assist me in the selling-of-the-car plan in my stead, and she told me it wouldn’t be a problem.  That is, until I reminded her that I’m leaving Tuesday.  She thought I left a week later than I did, apparently, although I thought I had done my best to keep everyone up to date on my goings-on.  Still, she has agreed to help me sell the car.  She might have to come down to Orlando to pick it up after I’ve left, though.  She mentioned getting Danica to help, but I told her Danica already informed me that she cannot be trusted.  Good call, Danica.

So, yes.  Here I am.  My last official day at Shoppers’ Critique in-office.  I have reserved the weekend for visiting family and Monday and Tuesday for packing and cleaning.  I hope Dad can take me to the airport on Tuesday afternoon, because I already penned him in.  Not pencil.  Pen.  Take that, Dad.

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One comment

  1. Heather · July 19, 2008

    I feel like a big ass for outing that. I thought everyone knew. I SUCK. Seriously, though — who else is going to appreciate my vegan baked goods? Your presence will be missed, that’s for sure. Though I have to say I am pretty excited about my new document holder.

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