So, I thought I’d make a vegan pizza tonight, after all this talk of documenting my cooking shenanigans on my blog.
It perhaps wasn’t the best choice of places to start my culinary blogging adventures. Because, you see, I’ve never made a pizza before. And I’m not really good with pastry. Or anything involving flour. My first attempt at making seitan from scratch was an absolute failure and left my kitchen in shambles. But, on I ploughed, thinking my cooking prowess was untouchable.
And now here I am documenting my shame.
It didn’t start off well.
Originally, I decided to ignore the recipe and make a flat-bread type crust before adding anything else. Twenty minutes later, I discovered it wasn’t a good idea. Still, it tasted all right. I started over, this time following some online guidance.
Then I popped it in the oven, like someone on the internet told me to do. I baked for twenty minutes and then took it out to add the vegan cheese, homemade tomato sauce, and nutritional yeast flakes. It seemed all right coming out of the oven, despite the fact that the cheesly and tomato sauce blended together and turned pink.
Then, I went to cut it.
The edges were as hard as a rock. I could not get it out of the pan. I was hungry. Oh no!!1! What to do, what to do??
Eat pizza middle with spoon while husband watches, unfed.
I swear, I can cook.