While laying face down and being rubbed by my osteopath
Osteo: Where do you live?
Osteo: Oh yeah, me too.
Me: Specifically Wandsworth Town.
Osteo: Me too. Just off Old York Road.
Me: I live just around the corner from Old York Road.
Osteo: Wow, how coincidental.
Osteo: But you’re moving to London Bridge, right?
Osteo: I was just around there the other day at the spa.
Me: Oh yeah, which one?
Osteo: The Circle Spa in Shad Thames.
Me: Yeah, I was just in there the other day.
Osteo: Really? Weird!
Me: Actually, no – I’m stalking you.
Osteo: . . .