Sometimes I say inappropriate shit.

While laying face down and being rubbed by my osteopath

Osteo: Where do you live?

Me: Wandsworth.

Osteo: Oh yeah, me too.

Me: Specifically Wandsworth Town.

Osteo: Me too. Just off Old York Road.

Me: I live just around the corner from Old York Road.

Osteo: Wow, how coincidental.

moments later…

Osteo: But you’re moving to London Bridge, right?

Me: Yeah.

Osteo: I was just around there the other day at the spa.

Me: Oh yeah, which one?

Osteo: The Circle Spa in Shad Thames.

Me: Yeah, I was just in there the other day.

Osteo: Really? Weird!

Me: Actually, no – I’m stalking you.

Osteo: . . .

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