Weird foodstuffs

Despite living in London for nearly 4 years now, I still find quintessentially British stuff quite funny.

–What biscuits should I pick up from the shops, Diane?
–Oh, get those nice ones, Charles. I like those nice ones.

Someone once told me to avoid describing things as ‘nice’, because it’s an essentially empty adjective. And this is probably why.

They’re not great biscuits. Not luxury ones either. Just nice.

I bought the Rich Tea biscuits instead. Mostly because they contain nearly half the calories of the Nice ones, which probably means if they were renamed they’d be ‘OK biscuits’ or maybe ‘All Right biscuits’, but such is the power of branding. Rich Tea sounds much – ahem – nicer.

I suppose I’m not really one to be poking fun at other people’s dietary habits, though. A couple of hours later I popped out to the shop and purchased a packet of Pom Bears and a small tin of peas. Every single person I passed on the pavement gave me quite a stare.

Who would have thought carrying a tin of petit pois while shovelling one’s face full of reconstituted potato snack would be so attention-soliciting. Not me.

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9 comments

  1. Brian Westbye · January 29, 2012

    I would’ve gone with the Asshole Biscuits myself…

  2. Handsome Bank Employee · January 29, 2012

    It’s Neece. Like the city in France. You must be SO embarrassed.

    • Larissa · January 29, 2012

      Suuuuuuuuure…

      • Handsome Bank Employee · January 29, 2012

        Hey, I’m just trying to save you a drawing-room faux pas, or fox pass as you would say.

      • Larissa · January 29, 2012

        Wikipedia says this is alleged. And by an Australian biscuit maker too. You can’t trust those Skips.

  3. Handsome Bank Employee · January 29, 2012

    I grew up in a staggeringly posh family. These are the kind of things that we know and that the internet will never learn.

    • Larissa · January 29, 2012

      Regardless – from an outsider’s perspective, it’s hilarious.

      • jen · January 29, 2012

        Can I butt in on your conversation and comment that biscuits in this country make my heart sad? Whatever happened to soft and chewy?

        Dry and brittle = not even worth the calories! Posh or not, that’s how it rolls.

      • Larissa · January 30, 2012

        Yeah, sometimes I OD on those Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference chocolate chip cookies when they’re fresh. Remind me of home.

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