People are boring

I know I shouldn’t be poking fun of new people at work, but when someone asks you to tell them a little about your hobbies and interests so as to compose an introductory email about you that will subsequently be sent out to the entire team, maybe you should come up with something a little more exciting than listening to music, watching movies, eating out and travelling.

I mean, even if you like all of these things (as people do), give me something a bit more interesting. Mitten collecting, working in pyjamas, writing pornographic Harry Potter fanfic, anything.

I like listening to music, watching movies, eating out and travelling as much as the next person, new colleague. But let’s just assume that – in fact – everyone likes listening to music, watching movies, eating out and travelling.

So next time, let’s be more specific.

For example, I describe myself as enjoying the following things:

  • grammar
  • swearing
  • medieval literature
  • feminism
  • ashtanga yoga
  • brutalist architecture
  • craft beer
  • fountain pens
  • cycling
  • electropop
  • whimsy
  • using semi-colons
  • not using semi-colons
  • coffee
  • coffee snobbery
  • teapots
  • G&Ts
  • G&Ts in teapots

I also like mitten collecting and working in my pyjamas, for the record.

I need a schtick.

Not a lot to write about, really. I’m fully aware that most of my recent blog posts are just duplications of instant message conversations I have with Alan at work that I find funny, which – more likely than not – are of no interest to anyone other than myself.

I suppose pleasing myself is paramount.

But I think of you, dear reader. Ever accommodating, me.

So what is there to write about? My day-to-day life is a bit boring; let’s be honest here.

  1. Wake up
  2. Cycle
  3. Yoga
  4. Cycle
  5. Eat
  6. Drink coffee
  7. Work
  8. Eat
  9. Argue with people at work
  10. Find funny shit on the internet
  11. Eat
  12.  Work
  13. Drink coffee
  14. Work
  15. Cycle
  16. Drink
  17. Eat
  18. Watch bad television
  19. Eat
  20. Sleep

I used to cook a lot and originally did food blogging in this space. But, well, BORING. Instead, I’ve started drinking. And drinking? Now drinking is much more interesting. However the cooking+drinking thing is pretty much already taken. And – I could be wrong but – My Drunk Living Room probably wouldn’t be quite as entertaining.

Maybe I’ll just start interjecting lots of yiddish in my writing.

RSS Readers

Me: I don’t understand people who don’t have RSS Readers.

Alan: [non-committal noise]

Me: I mean, I’m going to subscribe to Linzi’s blog now so that I can read it whenever she updates [logging in to Google Reader]. Except I subscribe to a lot of blogs that I don’t read anymore.

Alan: That’s the problem with Readers, I guess. You can get overloaded.

Me: See, like all these vegetarian blogs. I never read them anymore. Because I don’t cook anymore. All I have time for is drinking. [unsubscribe all]